Februar 2012
70 Einträge
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Anonym fragte: THAT ONE WASN'T THOUGHT OUT VERY WELL. IM SORRY I CAN ONLY GO LIKE 3 OR 4 TIMES BEFORE I NEED A BREAK, OKAY? LET'S TRY AGAIN IN THE MORNING, IF YOU'RE STILL HERE WHEN I WAKE UP. OH, YOU WEREN'T GOING TO SPEND THE NIGHT? THAT'S OKAY. NO, IT IS. I UNDERSTAND. STOP FIGHTING WITH ME I SAID IT'S ALRIGHT. NOW YOU WANT TO SLEEP HERE? SORRY, THERE'S NO ROOM LEFT. ...
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Anonym fragte: Mm, I'm gonna sate you so hard. Gonna fill you up in all the right spots. My warm, leavened dough will leave you craving more. I'll let you use me however you want; toasty or -- better yet, break me with one of your whips and sprinkle me into your soup. Don't worry, girl, I'm totally clean. Let me spread you across my table and we can gorge on each other. Jesus, I'm...
blooddirtbonesmud:
I won’t fuck us over, I’m Mr....
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Anonym fragte: The soft crunches of my breadstick legs grow quieter as I sullenly retreat from your doorway. :( no dipping sauce for you tonight, breadstick-penis. No dipping sauce for you tonight.
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Anonym fragte: Mm girl you're the spice to my pepperoni.
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kanyewestsidestory replied to your post: yo girl you fly wanna make out
what if a pizza sent you that question
Oh man, I would heavy pet the shit right the fuck outta that goddamn pizza.
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Anonym fragte: yo girl you fly wanna make out
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Anonym fragte: have you ever recorded yourself getting down with a guy? i found someone who looks like u
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it’s not lost on me that despite the huge emphasis Friday Night Lights places on the importance of education and college, it’s still largely responsible for the fact that I’ve put off doing most of my homework for the past couple weeks.
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egyptian-musk fragte: i was having the absolutely shittiest few weeks of my life until i found your blog and now i feel like i can finally eat an entire medium pizza alone without sobbing into my ranch, and while it seems like that takes a lot of the fun out of it, it also means i have more energy to wank off to doctor who when i'm done. thank you.
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Anonym fragte: stay in ny. why would you go to austin anyway?
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Anonym fragte: I don't even care. UGH.
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Anonym fragte: LUUUUUKE!
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Anonym fragte: FUUUCK. What do I do? I really like this guy who I think likes me too but he has this girl that's a friend who I think ALSO likes him and she's reallyreallyreallyreally cool and I feel like we'd be reeeeeally good friends if we werent like gunning for the same bro. She's one of the most funny/talented/smart/pretty girls I've ever met. It's just weird and i feel weird.
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svennysvensven replied to your quote: I don’t like this wine, it tastes too much…
how dare you, i thought you liked all wine. winecist.
When it comes to alcohol I have the least sophisticated palate. If beer tastes like anything, I get super confused. One time while washing down my bc I turned to Ellen and said, “Wait, why does our tap water taste like flat pbr?” but it was just...
“I don’t like this wine, it tastes too much like…wine.”
– me pretty much every time someone tries to give me wine that isn’t charles shaw or carlo rossi sangria.
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waitthoughreally:
probably my favorite drunkism i’ve ever said was, “it is a CRIME against HUMANITY that more people don’t see me naked.”
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“You can’t dangle the bogus carrot of possible reconciliation in front of...”
– Tim Bisley
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Cortney and I are probably moving to Austin after...
Get Skinny for Austin 2k12 starts now. I overheat when temperatures hit the 70s, so I’m gonna need to lose all the blubbery insulation that I can. I’m not about to move to Texas in the summertime wearing anything more than the shortest shorts and tops that bare the driffiest mids.
Also hey, who wants to teach me how to drive?
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I’m absolutely certain someone just drove by my apartment blasting a midi version of “Unforgiven” by Metallica, and the reason I know for sure is because I had that exact version set to autoplay on my diaryland blog when I was in 6th grade, and this might be the worst sentence I’ve ever written.
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Anonym fragte: Would you get with someone 3 years younger than you? This super hot bro brought me the worlds cheesiest valentines day card yesterday, and now I can't stop think about riding him all night long. He's 19 though, it just seems wrong.
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“People were drinking like it was the civil war and the doctor was coming to saw...”
– John Mulaney describing my night
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Anonym fragte: what are you doing after graduation?
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Mostly I like shows like Jersey Shore because they’re all about a bunch of dumb kids who are just trying to get wasted, and I know that if a camera crew were following me and my friends around and mtv was plying us with money and alcohol, I’d be just as (if not more) embarrassing, and certainly more pathetic and consistently bedridden by the idiocy of being super lovelorn or otherwise...
oh man I follow way too many porn blogs for me to...
that isn’t to stay it stops me though.
you’re welcome, pervs sittin’ behind me,
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Why aren't you watching Cougar Town?
Michael Ausiello: Do you ever feel like you're endorsing alcoholism?
Busy Phillips: Every day of my life.
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Anonym fragte: that's not a good song you might just have shitty taste :)
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I wish it were acceptable to leave constructively critical comments on the Facebook profile pictures of people you used to sleep with. You know, like, “Aw, no, dude, if you think you look good in this picture you’re either clinically blind or sexually attracted to tropical birds. Either way, no. Please try again.”
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I finally got raise-its to put under the wheels of...
which is cool, but I’m a little sad that this will take away the thrill of rolling around my room during sex, never knowing what we were gonna crash into.
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I went to bed at 5 and woke up at 8 to maximize...
Who says I can’t manage my time. Take that, mom.
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Explosions in the Sky could probably make me eating a pizza in my bathtub somehow emotionally devastating.
